


Bad Table Manners

by youregorgeouswaitwhat



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: F/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Table Sex, but NO food involved hans would never get his coat dirty, they're just both horny there's nothing i can do about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:54:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24311620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youregorgeouswaitwhat/pseuds/youregorgeouswaitwhat
Summary: The moral of this story is don’t go to fancy dinners with your horny husband.
Relationships: Anna & Hans (Disney), Anna/Hans (Disney)
Kudos: 17





	Bad Table Manners

The King of Corona was coming to visit. A chance to foster friendship between countries, establish economic partnerships, and maybe even arrange a marriage or two… but all the visit meant to Anna was that she had to wear an uncomfortable dress, a ridiculous hairstyle, and be forced to go to an awkward dinner with people she’d never met before in her life.

“This is going to be so boring. The absolute worst. A nightmare of epic proportions. I can feel it.” Anna flopped face-down onto her bed, the elaborately constructed mass of curls on her head threatening to topple over. Her handmaids rushed to the bedside, and one of them tugged at Anna’s hand with alarmed eyes. “Please, miss- no! We’ve been doing your hair for hours…” With a sigh, Anna pushed herself back off of the bed and gave a bashful glance to the maid while straightening her dress. “I just hate foreign dignitaries, ya know? They’re always so proud, and snooty, and they wear weird cologne-”

“Well, Anna, I didn’t know you felt so strongly about foreign dignitaries. Shame that you married one.”

“Hans!” Her husband was leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed with a mischievous glint in his eye. Anna left the circle of handmaidens and quickly ran to him, tripping over her dress several times before embracing him. “I didn’t mean you, you know.”

Hans returned her embrace, burying his face into her neck.“I know,” he murmured, his breath tickling her skin, causing her to shiver. “Besides, you’re the one with the excessive perfume. At least it smells… amazing.” He pressed a kiss to her freckled shoulder before raising his head, only to make awkward eye contact with one of his wife’s maids. The woman squeaked, and the rest of her maids fell into fits of nervous giggling. Anna turned around, her face reddening as she remembered that they weren’t alone. She sucked her cheeks in before mumbling that the maids were now allowed to take their leave, and the couple shifted into her room as the tittering women exited. Hans laughed, then stepped back from his wife. “Well, dear, It’s nearly time for- oh. Your, uh, gown. Is. It. Oh.”

Anna glanced down at her dress- she hadn’t really paid attention while her maids were lacing it up, but her breasts looked ready to bust out of the frilly bodice. “Jeez, they DO look huge!” she exclaimed, poking at the mounds of flesh with fascination. She looked back up at Hans with a grin, bringing her arms up over her head in order to give him full view. “It was a gift from the royal tailors of Corona. Is it too… distracting?”

Hans stared slack-jawed for a moment before averting his eyes with a nervous chuckle. “I just hope the King of Corona isn’t here to steal you away. You look much too ravishing for this to be a coincidence.”

Anna snorted.

“Apparently, the King is practically blind. Even with his glasses, he can’t see two feet in front of his face. I could probably be naked at the dinner and he wouldn’t even notice.”

She glanced at the clock on the wall.

“Ugh. It’s almost time to go. All aboard the boring train. Choo choo.” Anna half-heartedly pumped her arm in the air, causing Hans to laugh.

“I promise it won’t be nearly as boring as you expect,” he said, leading her out to the hallway. “We’ll find a way to make it fun.” His arm snaked around her waist as they walked, fingers resting gently on her hipbone. Anna felt warm.

☼ ☼ ☼ 

“Would you say that Arendelle is a profitable kingdom?”

The King of Corona’s voice echoed in the huge hall- Anna was thankful for this, because at the other end of the table the man was at least thirty feet away.

Hans placed his hand on his wife’s knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Anna began to rattle off the various imports and exports of Arendelle until she stopped mid-sentence, eyes wide. Hans’ hand had started… travelling. It was currently on her upper thigh, fingertips stroking her skirts ever-so-lightly. Anna shot a glance toward her husband, who seemed to be deeply focused on the King, who had begun a soliloquy on the importance of textiles.

“Don’t you agree, Princess?”

What? Was the king speaking to her? Oh yes, they were at dinner, they were discussing trades…

“Ah- yes, of course…”

The princess did her best to continue speaking as Hans began to slowly pull up her skirt, his arm staying completely still. Gloved fingers hit flesh, and Anna let out a squeak.

“Y-yes, we’d love to visit some time. The tales of your kingdom’s beauty have traveled far and-” Anna stammered as Hans’s fingers stroked her bare knee, then moved up her thigh over her bloomers. His fingers swirled lazy patterns over the fabric as they crept up, farther, and farther…

Anna moaned loudly as he cupped her over the fabric, pointer finger stroking and searching for the spot that would make her scream.

“Excuse me, your Highness, are you alright?” The King had put his utensils down and was squinting across at them, concerned.

“Yes, completely fine, I-”

Hans had removed his hand now, and when Anna glanced at him he appeared to be some stupid combination of amused and aroused. She tried to make eye contact with him, but he stared straight ahead, a vulpine grin on his face. She sighed and put her head down on the table with a thunk.

“Apologies, your highness. This is Anna’s favorite meal,” Hans intoned smoothly. “She can get quite enthusiastic about food.”

Anna considered stabbing her husband with a fork, but as she lifted her head, she noticed that he had begun to take off his gloves. Once his right hand was bared, it resumed its place on Anna’s bloomers.

Anna tried to choke out a sentence. “I just, uh, this food is delicious. Don’t you agree? We had the cooks prepa- ah, ah-”

Hans’s fingers were now fiddling with the bow that kept her drawers tied, pulling at the ribbon until it loosened in his grasp.

The princess could only stare at Hans with her mouth agape as his bare fingers slipped inside her drawers, ghosting over her ginger curls and sliding across her slit. Anna stuffed her fist into her mouth, tilting her hips forward as she felt the rush of warmth and wetness.

“So, your highness, are we in agreement? Arendelle is well known for its textiles, and Corona has much to offer…” The prince’s voice was even and calm, carrying no hint of the fact that he was about to make Anna come right there at the dinner table.

 _How can he carry on a conversation?_ Anna thought hazily. _While he- while he- ohhh-_

His thumb had started circling her clit, while his other fingers slid back and forth over her entrance, one long finger crooking inside-

And suddenly his hand was gone. The King of Corona had stood up and was saying something, something about enjoying the dinner… she could barely focus her eyes, let alone her thoughts-

Hans took her arm- _his fingers were soaked, that was embarrassing_ \- and gave her a gentle pull. The dinner was over.

The two stood up and bowed, Anna shoving her skirts down and doing her best to not sound as flustered as she felt.

“Well, if you’ll excuse us, we’ll discuss your- ah, proposition and report back to you tomorrow. Do you need any help finding-”

“No, no, I’m sure I’ll be fine. Thank you for the dinner. I’m sure this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship between our kingdoms.”

It seemed like ages until the King reached the end of the hall, the creak of the opening door lasted a lifetime. As soon as it closed and the footsteps faded away, Anna pounced. 

She shoved Hans back into his chair and climbed onto his lap, raking her fingers through his soft, copper hair. “You’re in big trouble, mister,” she whispered before kissing him messily, nibbling at his bottom lip and greeting his tongue with hers. She lowered herself down onto his lap and rolled her hips, earning a throaty growl from her husband. He was already rock-hard- _Good, at least she wasn’t the only one suffering_ _._ “This was a royal visit.”

He glanced up at her, hands sliding down her back to cup her bottom, an almost evil smile dancing across his lips. “You’re the one who didn’t want it to be boring.” He sucked at her lower lip before kissing his way down her neck. “I figured that making you scream would be just the thing.” He started to suck at her collarbone, and Anna’s breasts heaved as she panted. She felt one of his hands move up her ribs, but she could barely enjoy the sensation because of the thick fabric of her bodice.

“Get me out of this thing, please,” she moaned, untangling her fingers from Hans’ hair to grope at the intricately tied ribbon at the back of her dress. Hans stood up and turned her around, and Anna could feel his length against her buttocks, hot and hard. His fingers went to the tied bow at the small of her back, and began pulling the strips of fabric through the grommets of the bodice.

“This… might take a while.”

Anna let out a disappointed groan. “Here, ah… use this!” Anna had grabbed hold of the steak knife and was jabbing wildly at her back.

“Jesus, Anna, watch where you stab that,” laughed Hans. He grabbed her wrist and took the knife from her hands, slipping it underneath the ribbons down her back.

“Are you sure this is alright? It was a gift, after all-”

Anna responded by grinding into him, causing him to thrust forward unconsciously.

“Alright then,” he growled.

Hans expertly pulled the knife upwards, slashing the ribbons, and Anna let out a sigh of relief as the suffocating outfit loosened around her. They both worked to pull it off her, leaving the princess in just an underdress with her drawers around her knees.

Anna’s eyes were glittering. “Your turn now.”

Both pairs of hands flew to his trousers, Hans working at the buttons as Anna slipped her hand under the fabric, thin fingers sliding through the ginger hair that led from his lower belly to his cock. She took him in her hand, squeezing lightly, and he arched into her touch with a groan.

“ _Hnnng_ , wait- Anna-”

Anna grinned. Now she had the power, now she was the one who could make him writhe and moan…

But she could have that later. Right now, she needed one thing.

“On the table, on the table,” Anna breathed, bringing her hand up to Hans’s cravat and dragging him to the middle of the table. After kicking her drawers off, she pushed her skirts up and crawled on top of him, thankful to finally be able to relieve some of the pressure burning inside her. He was hot against her mound, and she rocked into him, desperate for release.

“Now, I need- now-”

Hans raised his hips, and she positioned herself carefully over him before sliding herself onto his thick cock. They groaned in unison at the sensation, and Anna felt her eyes roll back into her head. She could feel his fingernails digging into her hips as she clenched around him, and he began to thrust, pulling himself up into her as far as she could take him. Hans brought one of his hands down between them, fingers tweaking and rubbing her clit, causing Anna to cry out.

Anna bent forward as he picked up speed, pressing her breasts against his chest and biting his freckled shoulder in attempt to muffle her screams.

Hans came first, his exquisite warmth filling her and pushing her over the edge.

They lay together on the table, breathless and sore from their encounter.

“When do you think the servants will be here to clean up?” Anna asked, running a hand over his freckled chest.

Hans sighed. “Probably soon. We’re lucky they didn’t walk in on us.”

“Very lucky,” Anna giggled, as blush forming on her cheeks as she imagined being caught in that particular, uh… position.

A loud knock from the end of the hall caused Anna to sit straight up in shock, and her eyes grew wide with fear.

“Your highnesses, if you have concluded with the dinner-”

“One moment!” Anna squeaked out, and she smacked Hans gently when he laughed at her mortification. She glanced around at the mess they had made, unsure of how to explain the fact that there was food on the floor and that they were both half-naked on the table. She glanced worriedly at Hans.

He cleared his throat. “You know what, Gerda? Tell everyone they can have the night off. Anna and I intend to remain here and discuss our relationship with Corona for a while longer, and we don’t want to inconvenience everyone.” Anna prayed that this would be enough to get her to leave, so no one would see-

“Alright. We will come up in the morning.”

Anna had never felt more relieved in her life.

“Do you think they heard us?” she asked worriedly, after the sound of footsteps had subsided.

“I don’t know,” he murmured, “You’re quite loud.”

Anna gasped, offended. “Well, I wouldn’t be so loud if you weren’t so- weren’t so-”

Hans raised his eyebrow, daring her to finish the sentence.

Anna rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Anyways, now you owe me. “

She leaned forward, putting her lips to his neck.

“Someday, when you least expect it, I’m going to pull exactly what you just did.”

Hans tilted his head back, letting out a little growl as Anna sucked gently.

“Some fancy royal dinner…”

She was using her teeth now, nipping along his jawbone, biting at his ear. Hans wrapped his arms around her, pressing their bodies together once more.

“I’m going to drive you crazy. And you won’t be able to do a single thing.”

This was murmured against his ear, and she could feel him beneath her, warm and desperate once more-

“Hnnn… _Anna_ -”

“Perhaps when your brothers come to visit.”

Anna promptly rolled off him, grinning to herself. 


End file.
